Seventh Generation Japanese

The Sony division I worked in was full of world-class engineers, marketeers, and salesman. I felt honored to be a part of that team. Creativity was in high supply, and encouraged at all levels and in all disciplines. The procurement and operations folks were also highly talented and fun to work with. Imagine that, what a concept - purchasing staff with graceful social skills that weren't numbers-oriented and boring - how refreshing! It was truly a pleasure working with everyone on both sides of the pond......

In particular, I remember the VP of Sales at one year's annual sales summit. The meeting was held in the middle of the desert (gasp!) of the American southwest, at some nice resort teeming with golfers and tourists in addition to the large contingent of Sony sales and marketing staff. All the engineering department managers were invited, but not all of us could attend, so I was asked to represent one of my colleagues who would be receiving an award. Oh, man, I remember this incident as if it were yesterday......

I confirmed with my engineering director beforehand that the awards presenters knew that I would be accepting the award for my colleague who couldn't be there. He reminded me not to say a word to anyone about this, because no-one was supposed to know my colleague was going to win this award until it happened. So I kept it on the QT, even from my colleagues who were coming to the event with me. On the day before leaving for the event, I again confirmed, this time with my engineering vice-president, that the awards presenters would know that I was going to be accepting the award for my colleague who couldn't be there. The awards ceremony was on the second night, after the big dinner, so leading up to it I was confident that everything would go smoothly. I practiced my 3 lines that I was going to say over and over, to make sure I had it memorized and wouldn't look like a deer caught in the headlights. After all, there were a few hundred people in the audience that night, not only sales staff from all over the US but also executives from the home office in Japan.....

The lights began to dim. The awards ceremony had begun. The VP of Sales would call out the award, explain the great sacrifice and/or accomplishment the awardee had done to earn it, and in the end call up the awardee to the stage. The protocol called for the awardee to say a brief thank you with a few words at the microphone, then shake the VP of Sales hand, then shake the President's hand, then get off the stage and return to their dinner table, glad-handing and receiving attaboys or attagirls all the way back to the table. I'm sure you've seen this scenario repeated at many such events.....

All of a sudden, I hear them call out my colleague's name. I bolt out of my chair with such suddenness that I appear to alarm my tablemates. I caught their perplexed looks in the corner of my eye as I strolled confidently toward the podium. Then I noticed the VP of Sales had this obviously perplexed look on his face as he saw me coming towards him, maybe he must have thought I was drunk or something, but I had a suspicion it was something far worse.....

You see, what I neglected to mention heretofore was that my colleague's name was a quite obviously Japanese-sounding name, and I was just as quite obviously not Japanese, having quite obviously non-Japanese facial features and physiology. As I approached the stage, the presenter made some wise-crack about me being a Seventh Generation Japanese in America, and everybody laughed at my expense. It was as this laughter was dying down that I reached the podium. Inside myself I was mortified, but I was determined to complete the task I had been directed no matter what the consequences. I got up on the stage, and took the trophy out of his hands as a stupefied HR director looked on dumbfounded. As I shook hands with the President, he smiled at me and said en sotto voce only he and I could hear "Jeff, what are you doing here?". It was one of those awkward prolonged moments in time, as I answered "Didn't they tell you? I'm supposed to accept this for him." The President smiled wisely and knowingly as we had one of those awkward longer-than-usual handshaking moments, as it was clear to me no-one had gotten the word to him. As I said my 3 sentences (which I had practiced over and over) at the microphone, the HR director and VP of Sales edged closer to me and whispered "That's enough, Jeff, now go sit down." Defiantly, I stayed at the microphone until I had squeezed out every last word I had so painstakingly practiced, then slowly turned around and gave them a dark, cold look that would stop a moose at mating time. I slowly sauntered off the stage and back to my table, vowing to have a little discussion with my engineering director and engineering vice-president about communications and follow-through.....